justngn's Xanga

The answer is...

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 16:40:36 GMT

Right from the begining, I have been wondering why is the concert titled "the answer is".....

And it was untill yesterday, I started to ask myself if I should just go ahead to attend the concert which I bought a pair of tickets much earlier.... THE ANSWER IS... Go!

10 July 2009 is a day that left a deep impact in my life. My mom called me around 3pm, crying and screaming, saying that uncle Seng had passed away. Uncle Seng is her younger brother. I rushed a cab down from Clementi to SGH, while in the cab, I texted my sister, calming her down and telling her that I m very worried about grandma. When I reached SGH, I saw grandma arriving in the cab behind me. I was lost! I dunno how to console her... We proceed to registeration and have our temperature taken. The part time student worker insensitively told us that Uncle has passed away, in front of grandma. Good thing is that she was in a state of lost and confusion. She did not heard what the boy told her.

We were then ushered to the family room, where family members of the deceased waited... Everyone is crying. Mom even broke the news to grandma, causing her breaking down. No one can hold her, or control her.

At that moment, another nurse came in with a piece of "good" news. She said that doctors are able to revived my uncle and regain his heartbeat. Tho his heart beats is only less than 10% of a normal human's, at least they saved him. But after doctor's explaination, it seems like it wasn't a good news afterall.

Uncle Seng lost his heartbeat for an hour, and his brain is already affected. His next 48 hours are very critical, which determine if he will be able to pull through.

I m not very close to uncle Seng, but I m sad to see my grandma cry... I was even thinking of selling off Sun Yanzi's concert ticket in order to stay with them.

That thought was like pestering me since yesterday... I been wanting to wacth Yanzi's concert, wanting to see and hear her sing WO BU NAN GUO & WO HUAI NIAN DE live.... yet on the other hand, I felt that I m being heartless to go concert when my uncle is sick in the ICU and my family are affected.

I m struggling between my WANT and my CONSCIENCE. Yet i chosen my WANT.

Yes, to many others out there, maybe you guys would have gave the concert a miss. But I did something that I nvr tot I will do. That is very not me! I went to the concert, knowing that my sister and my mom are in the hospital with other relatives....

Am I heartless?? or I mean, am I very "evil"?

What is your answer?

The answer is.....

It was only halfway thru, then i begin to feel much comfortable and letting my mind taking a break from the emotional stress. It could be due to the upbeat and fast tracks Yanzi sang from the start, it could also be due to the impressive stage design! Slowly, i got into the concert mood, humming along some of the familiar tracks.

I have a lot to compliment abt her concert, but somehow, I m not in the mood to do so... All I can say now is that it was AWESOME! Yanzi in the right form, dancers are great, stage is wonderful and magical!! I did helped took my mind off a few hours from the draining emotional strain.

Wanted to go hospital after concert, but mom said only nominated family members are allowed. Thus, I can only come home, blog, pray for a miracle and visit uncle Seng tomorrow.

Uncle Seng, I keep thinking of some moments we shared together, all i can recall at the moment is those times we met on the street, and we called out to each other... sorry uncle, i did not stay by your side, but be strong. Grandma is still hoping for you to go home! We want you to go home too...

Monday, July 06, 2009

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 16:07:49 GMT

Went KTV instead of gym after i reach the gym at Yishun safra~ haha~ excuse excuse! haha~

Wanted to blog in chinese but after restoring my PC, i can't seems to setup chinese text again!! anyone can help??

Anyway, i learn a not so new 'new" song... sharing it here.

http://wma.t7t8.com:8910/21z/0/daodailjr090118/1/80fbb340408436ff_5.wma

情歌- <梁静茹>

时光是琥珀泪一滴滴被反锁
情书再不朽也磨成沙漏
青春的上游白云飞走苍狗与海鸥
闪过的念头潺潺的溜走
命运好幽默让爱的人都沉默
一整个宇宙换一颗红豆
回忆如困兽寂寞太久而渐渐温柔
放开了拳头反而更自由
慢动作缱绻胶卷重播默片定格一瞬间
我们在告别的演唱会说好不再见
你写给我我的第一首歌
你和我十指紧扣默写前奏
可是那然后呢
还好我有我这一首情歌
轻轻的轻轻哼着哭着笑着
我的天长地久

命运好幽默让爱的人都沉默
一整个宇宙换一颗红豆
回忆如困兽寂寞太久而渐渐温柔
放开了拳头反而更自由
长镜头越拉越远越来越远事隔好几年
我们在怀念的演唱会礼貌的吻别
你写给我我的第一首歌
你和我十指紧扣默写前奏
可是那然后呢
还好我有我这一首情歌
轻轻的轻轻哼着哭着笑着
我的天长地久
陪我唱歌清唱你的情歌
舍不得短短副歌心还热着
也该告一段落
还好我有我下一首情歌
生命宛如静静的相拥的河
永远天长地久

Rain rain go away, Fatty Justin wan to play....

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 10:38:33 GMT

5th July 2009 3,521 Days without my grandma....

I was lookng fwd to today, cos i tot i can do something that I can never had a chance to so... but somehow, weather is bad. Or maybe, my life is simply simple. Or I have not done enough good deed to enjoy it! ha~

But suddenly, when we were chatting in Mr H's FC office, i tot of her again... none other but my grandma. If I were to be easily disappointed w simple hiccups, wad abt her? She never enjoy life at all!! She gave her last 21 years to me... I must not waste the effort she put in for me.

Ha~ I m really too addicted to monopoly Deal, bring it w me everywhere I go.... play while waiting for friends, play while nothing to do. A simple nice weather Sunday, if it is anusual dau! Damn! hahaha~

P.s. I m not sad or anything k! just wanna record down everytime i miss her.

When I think of Xanga.....

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 02:04:57 GMT

Firstly, Jason Soo: He is the friend who introduced me to blogging thru Xanga...

Mainly: My Grandparents: Xanga used to be, and will be my way of remembering their love for me...

Now that i started Xanga-ing again, I wanna make Xanga more motivating too... Hope that by blogging thru this hard time that CHE is facing will make us learn from any mistakes, also, make us looked back into our hardship in the future.

It all started in May... 1st May to be exact. We started to shift into another room for the sake of installing an air-con. But ended up, we disturbed the Flaying Star of illness - Five Yellow, which is in this sector of the house. No renovation and peace is to be kept in that sector but we did all the opposites! ha~

It first started off with a severe asthma attack on me that lasted for 1.5 months! Both Irvin and me keep falling sick easily and till now, Irvin's sore throat is not totally recovered. Not only that, CleanHouse Effect's business is greatly affected starting June! Stressed!

Some may say that I m a Catholic, i shouldn't be believing in fengshui etc... But i really went thru those experiences that make me really hard not to believe. We have bought remedies and placed the necessary "ornaments", to tell u frankly, it did helped. We bought mainly on the suppressing ornament for the 5 yellows and also a health HULU.

Now, the problem that is bothering me... FS also mentioned that one should never do important thing in this sector and our office table is also in this sector! Is that the caused??? But flying star changes yearly, surely there must be a way to counter it! Anyway, I believe that as long as we both work hard, we will surely get paid off!

We did not take a quieter approached in this "crisis" of our trade, in fact, we have decided to take another bigger step forward! We are pumping in more money into marketing and branding! We believe that PurpleClick will bring us to another level! CleanHouse Effect, Jai you!

2009's first entry...

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 05:39:40 GMT

It has been more than a year since I last logged in.

I need to reset my password in order to sign in!

Since Facebook has been around, I realised that i don't blog anymore... in fact, updating current status is becoming so easy that I lost myself in the world of self updating....

Why do i go around telling people wad am i doing now? ha~

Anyway, xanga is my first personal website for me to write personal feeling and stuff, so, here I m, AGAIN!

Hope I will keep updating from now on... :)

2008's first entry

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 01:10:43 GMT

Hey, its now 10am in the morning and I am so free blogging!!

Not that my reservist is very free, just tat I m in a queue at the medical center now. My first visit to the army MO since almost 10 yrs ago. This in camp is a prep for some test that we need to go thru so it's basically training, training and training. This morning we woke up at 530am to get ready for the test i fear - IPPT.

To my surprise, I dun feel the anxiety as much as i do when i was out in civilian taking RT and IPPT. Maybe becos i dun really aim to pass it. And this test is the reason for me being here at the medical center. I sprain my neck during warming up! clumsy right? Cant turn my neck now... just hope taht the MO will provide me some of my fav ANAREX pills. No need excuse or MC, cos i shud be able to cope w the training...

Seems like a very boring entry to me... shall stop here. Maybe it's boring here that's why. LOL.

没有祖母的日子第2921天....

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 14:25:41 GMT

今天是祖母过世第8年。一早，天就下着大雨。跟8年前的下午一样。我还记得午餐时间，我独自在兵营里值班。那是个星期天。突然就下起了大雨，我也就是在那时候打了个电话回家。叫祖母别收衣。还问她是否吃了午餐。谁知道，那便是我和她老人家的最后一次交谈。

8年后的今天，我仍然无法忘怀。今早的大雨几乎唤我眼泪落下。还好我还忍得。。。

因为人手不足，镪坤无法在11月2日时同我干爹干妈与姐姐们一起去翡龙山为祖父祖母祈祷。他今天乘着短短的空当，赶紧独自去拜祭祖母。因为今天是祖母的8年纪念日。当时我正在忙着工作。接到他传来的一则简讯。简讯说，?#25105;刚在祖母面前向她保证我会好好的照顾锦源，象您以前一样。?/P>

我很感动！

我最后还是哭了。

也许我时不时就在他面前说我很怀念祖母的爱与照顾吧。。。

说真的，当一个在你心目中已经生根的人物或感情已不在时，那不代表记忆就跟着时光慢慢的流失。反而，它越扎越深。越久越痛。

啊嬷，孙儿好想念您。真的希望您和祖父现在是在一块儿。等到我跟您们再相聚。

永远爱您们的孙子，

锦源

没有祖母的日子第2921天....

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 14:25:38 GMT

8年后的今天，我仍然无法忘怀。今早的大雨几乎唤我眼泪落下。还好我还忍得。。。

我很感动！

我最后还是哭了。

也许我时不时就在他面前说我很怀念祖母的爱与照顾吧。。。

说真的，当一个在你心目中已经生根的人物或感情已不在时，那不代表记忆就跟着时光慢慢的流失。反而，它越扎越深。越久越痛。

啊嬷，孙儿好想念您。真的希望您和祖父现在是在一块儿。等到我跟您们再相聚。

永远爱您们的孙子，

锦源

For Joanne,

Sun, 07 Oct 2007 15:08:13 GMT

幸福是珍惜现在所拥有,
福气常绕着薇秀身边走。
小小心愿是否涌上心头?
女子待嫁心情我能感受，
孩子气的冲动可不能有。
白色婚莎加上爱情证书，
薇笑带幸福说着我愿意，
秀丽新娘会轮到白薇秀。

爱与喜欢

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 13:53:02 GMT

最近, 我过得有一点透不过气，是空虚作祟还是再次尝到爱的滋味？

一到夜晚，我就不经的想起小老鼠。说真的，我跟本不知道为什么会想它想到心慌。甚至心内会隐隐约约做痛。我也跟坤仔提过，他也只是觉得那不过是场过云雨。若是过云雨的话就好，至少来的快去的也快。。。。

今天早上，在上班途中，我听着MP3。播放的是王力宏的一些歌，听着听着，似乎回到少年时期，情豆初开的感觉。那种只能默默的暗恋的酸溜溜感觉又在我身上涌起。把这些歌串起来，真的把我的内心的感触都唱出来。

?#19968;首简单的歌?唱出简单的喜爱，单纯的喜欢，爱在萌芽的感觉。就象刚认识小老鼠时，看见它的可爱，活泼。

OREVER　ＬＯＶＥ?#12288;一首山盟海誓的情歌。提醒我现在的处境，是否太过火，　忘了自我，忘了手中的幸福。

?#31532;一个清晨?#12288;唱出我心里渴望的一些画面。好美丽的画面。（歌词是出自水手啊？）

我会把这美丽的相遇跟我的回忆 ISS　ＧＯＯＤＢＹＥ?#12288;的。

?#23545;不起。不知道我有没有把小老鼠吓坏。?#12288;幸好我没到达那不能自拔的地步。我希望单纯的小老鼠没有发现我最近的不妥，常不自禁的回避小老鼠的眼神交流。就算有，我希望小老鼠不会在意。那是我的爱泛滥作祟。过云雨，只是一场雨。

也得跟你说对不起。我的心又乱撞了。它又受伤了。好想亲自跟你说，　但却没勇气。可能是怕我会哭吧。帮我走出这记忆好吗？

justngn's Xanga

The answer is...

Monday, July 06, 2009

Rain rain go away, Fatty Justin wan to play....

When I think of Xanga.....

2009's first entry...

2008's first entry

没有祖母的日子 第2921天....

没有祖母的日子 第2921天....

For Joanne,

爱与喜欢

没有祖母的日子第2921天....

没有祖母的日子第2921天....